today. a beautiful blue-sky Tuesday. hard not to smile, and enjoy the simple beauty God placed all around us.
got to leave work early today, around 10am. a kidney stone was in the process of knocking the wind right out of this tough old Texan, so instead of being pained at work, I left, drove home. halfway there, must have gone on with its journey.
at other times in my life, there would have been a loving wife to make sure I was ok. to fix dinner when she got home. to make me comfortable, and give me something to love and smile about. other times, a girlfriend would have filled that role. not today.
the world I've hit head-on is more a world of socially independently lonely people. wanting company, wanting friends, but too much hurt, too much baggage from the past to allow them to find that. I know that fog-shrouded ghost of a past. God, what a mess we've made of this world, of our lives.
Wondered. If I was to ever really become ill, and pass away suddenly, like in my sleep, how long would it take before anyone really noticed me gone. how long before someone cared enough to expend the energy to come check on me. Not a very happy or pleasant or reassuring thought, for sure.
Oh, I know, and believe that there's still someone out there for me. That whether or not she has family, would open her arms and her life to having me as her companion. To share all of her life with, including family times.
Read somewhere the top 5 needs women have are affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support, and a commitment to family. Funny how those fit what I want to share and give, too. every one. to me, those make life great.
Ever heard the phrase "he died with his music still inside"?
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