Am on vacation today, actually all this week. Had wished I could have spent at least some of it with a close friend, but ah and alas, was not to be. Pulling myself out of the dark emotional hole I've been in for a long time, the biggest challenge to me this week is not letting thoughts of sadness and loneliness mess up my vacation and fun time. Feeling the victim again of that super-codependent grandma complex seems like so many single women my age get themselves lost in or mired in. So far, so good, have had a lot of fun just going and doing.
Bought myself a pistol yesterday, even though in all my life I've only shot a pistol one time. I was able to get the guy at the gun shop to show me how to load and shoot, and to break it down to clean, without being too embarrassed. Kinda anxious about not looking like a 52-yr old rookie at the shooting range today. Got it mostly just for fun, for target shooting, maybe competition at some point in the future, and protection. Can't believe how light the gun is.
Been spending my time so far just going and doing whatever I wanted to, when I wanted to, making tentative plans but totally flexible. Getting up when I wanted....and boy, has it been fun so far. I think we all need to do this, take some downtime just to recharge our batteries. Not a family vacation or a highly structured time, just personal downtime, doing what some would see as selfishly absorbing themselves in things they want to do, not worrying about anyone else for those few days. In this insane out of control hurry-hurry-hurry world we live in, seems like if I don't do that, I really starting getting rough around the edges.
So here's to being selfish sometimes, to recharging, to getting back in touch with the things that make me who I am, and a person who he/she is!
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