Life....not for the weak of heart...

Boy, sometimes it feels like one can't win for losing. That pendulum in life swings both ways, sometimes things come easy, blessings abound, and life is good. then it swings the other way, and the weight on one's shoulders, aka mind, can be overwhelming.

At a time when finding a routine, and blending a family into a family is most important, so many other things are squeezed in that sometimes everything gets lost in the melee, and it gets really hard to tell which way is up. If it was just 'small stuff', that would be one thing. Throw in all those small things, and add a healthy heaping of emotions, loss of a steady income, the climb to get a new business off the ground and profitable to replace that lost income, drop in emergency surgery and weeks where one's body doesn't have a clue what's going on. Sprinkle in the rollercoaster ride that raising a 16-year old is, compounded by very differing views on how to prepare her for life after high school, and the result can put any tornado or hurricane to shame. Emotions spike, nerves wear down and get raw, get mentally worn out, and its a recipe for fireworks and reacting to things normally we wouldn't, saying things that just come out wrong and hurt others, cutting to the heart sometimes.

yeah, the pendulum is on the opposite side of where it's been for me the last few years, and its not fun right now. and the only real relief is to know, and let, God have it, knowing he and only he can take care of the things we can't. So much that's going on right now, I can't do anything about. A helpless feeling, for sure. And a very lonely one. But hopeful.